Thursday morning

I am up early this morning and have some time for blogging. I was hoping for some grand inspiration--but I'm not feeling really inspired. I think it's too early and I haven't had coffee yet =)

In my prayers, I am aware of how much I worry. I worry about tomorrow a lot and have to remind myself to remain in today. It's a challenge for me. I was reading an old journal of mine from when I was a CPE resident at Parkland Hospital in Dallas. A woman had tragically lost her husband and I wrote down something that she had said to me: "We were always getting ready to do a whole bunch of things."

It was good to read that and remember not to get so caught up in tomorrow, because we just don't know how many tomorrows we have.

I am in the middle of a Stewardship campaign at my church. I love my church...and I worry about my church. In my two years there, we have run deficit budgets and pulled from reserves to get by. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out what will happen down the road if the trend does not change (and so far is hasn't).

I don't know if it is that people cannot give more or that they don't give more. My sermon this past Sunday was received very well, but one person made an interesting comment, "you don't offend." She meant it as a compliment...but I wonder why is it so offensive to think that it takes real dollars and cents to run a church? Maybe I should be more offensive.

I never pictured myself leading a "dying church" and I'm not altogether convinced that that is where we are. But I also acknowledge that death is a part of life...and in faith, there has to be a death before there can be a resurrection.

I don't know what kind of death we must experience at this church before there will be a resurrection. I don't know exactly what the future holds (thought I worry about it endlessly). But for now, I don't want to be "getting ready to do a whole bunch of things." If I (and the church members) can be faithful in the present and do the best we can, even if we go out...at least we can go out with a bang.

Journey on...