Wait

What does it mean to wait? I have really been living into this during Advent this year. Most of the time I'm just rushing around trying to get all the "must dos" done. But this year, we are staying in WA and not traveling...we don't have family coming and I am actually finding myself having a more meaningful Advent because I'm not waiting to go somewhere or waiting for the guests to arrive. I have even given myself permission this year to not send out a mass mailing of Christmas cards which has taken one thing off of my plate. And so without quite as many distractions, the notion of waiting has really sunk in this year.

This past Sunday was the Sunday when we light the candle of Joy on the Advent wreath and the think about Mary in particular. For some reason the weight of her plight has really hit home with me this year. I remember what it was like to be 9 months pregnant, waiting for something to happen...but for some reason that kind of anticipation has not really been a part of my past Advent experiences.

But this year I am thinking about that kind of pregnant waiting...the time when you know that something is going to happen, you just don't know when. Yesterday I preached on Isaiah 35: 1-10 and talked about how people who are in the midst of difficulties long for something different...they hang onto the promise that life will be better tomorrow. But sometimes it is not tomorrow, or the next day, or the next year, or the next decade. Sometimes promises take a long time to be fulfilled.

But maybe what I'm picking up on this Advent is that promises are eventually fulfilled...it is truly not a matter of if, but a matter of when. So this Advent has been filled with the pregnant possibility that God is up to something that will be revealed someday. Although I don't completely understand God's time, I know that it is not a matter of if...only a matter of when.

Journey On...

Friday Five

Mother Laura at RevGalBlogPals writes:
Can you believe that in two days we'll be halfway through Advent? Gaudete Sunday: pink candle on the advent wreath, rose vestments for those who have them, concerts and pageants in many congregations. Time to rejoice!
Rejoice in the nearness of Christ's coming, yes, but also in the many gifts of the pregnant waiting time when the world (in the northern hemisphere, at least) spins ever deeper into sweet, fertile darkness.

What makes you rejoice about:
1. Waiting?
I think sometimes our greatest joys and anxieties come from waiting. In Advent, the waiting for the arrival of the Christ child is filled with lots of hope and promise.

2. Darkness?
I live in Washington State and the days here really do get short. We hit the Winter Solstice (The Longest Night of the year) on December 21st. The thing that I rejoice in with darkness is that it is bearable and it doesn't last forever. I always think of Chiaroscuro and how without both light and dark, there would not be contrast to create depth in paintings and photos. Darkness is not always to the most comfortable or fun place to be, but God is with us and will help to lead us back to light.

3. Winter?
Winter makes us slow down. If it is cold and rainy (or snowy), you can't go outside and work on your house or in your yard--you don't even think about those things. So you kind of have to slow down in winter and, for me, it is a good time for reflective thinking and praying.

4. Advent?
I rejoice that Advent helps us to remember the sacred in Christmas. I had some folks requesting more Christmas songs in worship...to which I responded, "it's not Christmas yet." The retailers have been telling us its Christmas since late October, but in the church we recognize that we have to wait. And waiting for Christ's arrival is much like waiting for God's guidance in our lives--we cannot rush it or make it fit as we would like to in our own schedules--it comes in God's time.

5. Jesus' coming?
I'm about to dive into my sermon for this week (based on the Isaiah text) and one of the things I grapple with is living in the tension of what we hope for in Jesus' coming and the sad reality of the world around us. Frankly, I never fully rejoice at Christmas because I can never fully forget the suffering of those in my community, country and in other places around the world. So I hope the someday, through Jesus, things will be as they should.

Journey On...

One Sock

I heard a story on the NPR the other day about a dog who had eaten close to 100 pairs of socks. That dog must know my dog. Our dog, for a while now, has gotten in the habit of digging in the laundry basket and pulling out our socks. At first he'd just nibble on them, but then he started taking big chunks out of them and now some of them just disappear (and sometimes reappear later--ewwwww!).

My dog's sock eating habit is annoying at best and maddening at worst. I now own a big bag of orphaned socks and am often frustrated because I cannot find socks for me or for my child as we are rushing through our mornings to get dressed.

But I realized something the other day...you really can put two slightly mismatched socks together and they still work! What I, having grown up in the land of plenty, failed to realize is that there are people in the world who would love to have my bag of mismatched socks because they still have plenty of wear left in them.

In this time of shopping for Christmas gifts and excessive giving, I am trying to simplify more and stress less...trying to remember to be thankful for the less-than-obvious gifts that are in front of me everyday.

So my socks don't match, but I do have socks and my feet are warm on this cold, rainy day. Thank you God.

Journey On...

Friday Five

Willsmama at RevGalBlogPals writes:

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow.
Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....

1) dessert/cookie/family food
Fruit Cake by far!

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...)
I'm kind of grossed out by eggnog

3) tradition (church, family, other)
Christmas Cards =)

4) decoration
The outside lights--because they are a pain to get up.

5) gift (received or given)
I think the worst thing I ever received was a book by Rush Limbaugh! I can't even remember who gave it to me or why they thought I would even want that =)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.I know, I know.... pretty grumpy for November but why not get it out of our systems now so we are free to enjoy the rest of the festivities.
The various versions of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I really like the song, but they play it like every five minutes on the radio.

A Little Child

"The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them." Isaiah 11:6

During Advent I will preaching from Isaiah. This particular piece of Isaiah is not in this year's lectionary, but I sure did think about it a lot over Thanksgiving week.

My family and I traveled down to Corpus Christi, TX where we spent Thanksgiving with my side of the family. As with all families, there are some really good things about us and some not-so-good things. Families are systems and systems are hard to change (maybe that's enough to say about the characteristics of my family =).

But I knew I would have the hardest time being around my new sister-in-law. I have a hard time relating to her. And so our first night together was awkward (to say the least). We all went out to this fabulous Mexican food restaurant--it is so fabulous that we had to wait to be seated and guess who I got to sit next to?? Of course--my sister-in-law.

I didn't know what to say to her. But as we sat there in silence, my 3 year-old daughter bopped over and crawled right up into my sister-in-law's lap. I watched her as she so easily related...as she so easily smiled...as she so easily shared herself with this person she didn't really know that well either...and I thought of Isaiah.

Isaiah 11:6 has all kinds of unlikely creatures hanging out together, peacefully....all led by a little child. I guess as we get older, life accumulates on us and we just aren't as willing to be so transparent. There is a lot to peel away before I could be as pure and as honest and as open as my little child. But I hope to live out what I say I believe in such fashion...until that day, I suppose a little child will lead me.

Journey On....

Living in the Now

Saw a great quote at the YMCA this morning. It was not credited to any particular author...

"Learn from the past, but don't dwell. Plan for the future, but don't obsess."

If you're stuck in either place, maybe this saying will help to bring back into the moment.

Journey on...

Friday Five--Thinking About These Things

Songbird at RevGalBlogPals writes: Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8, NRSV)

Friends, it's nearly Thanksgiving in the U.S. and it's the time of year when we are pressed to name things for which we are thankful. I want to offer a twist on the usual lists and use Paul's letter to the church at Philippi as a model.

Name five things that are true, honorable, just, pure, pleasing, commendable, excellent or worthy of praise. These could be people, organizations, acts, ideas, works of art, pieces of music--whatever comes to mind for you.

1.) I was just blogging about the grief recovery groups that I am leading. I think those people who are willing to come and work the process of grief are true and commendable in so many ways. To be open and honest about grief in this culture is not easy--they are an inspirational to me.

2.) I think the Heifer Project is worthy of praise for the work that it does in trying to create just and sustainable communities.

3.) What is pleasing to me is my family and friends. Particularly my husband and daughter. I never knew unconditional love (outside of God's love) until I met that wonderful man I call my husband.

4.) There are people at my church who are commendable for the amount of time and effort they put into the mission and ministry of the church. I also think the women of RevGals are all commendable for the effort they put into the organization and the thoughts, prayers and ideas that are shared.

5.) I was writing about Kiva in my sermon for this week...which makes me think of the Grameen Bank and Dr. Yunus. What commendable, amazing work!

Thinking about the lasts

I don't know if it is because I am leading grief recovery groups and hearing the stories of people who have lost loved ones...but lately I have been thinking about the lasts.

When you have a baby, everyone talks about looking forward to the firsts--first smile, first crawl, first steps. But nobody ever talks about the lasts--the last time your child crawls, the last time they nurse or drink from a bottle, the last time they sit in a highchair or the last time they sit in your lap (see my previous post on this one).

And this pondering of the lasts does not simply apply to babies. We catapult forward through life looking forward to the firsts--first kisses, first drink =), first vote, first love, first job, first day of retirement and on and on. But we are not encouraged or as inclined to spend much time pondering the lasts.

I am hearing a lot about how painfully precious the last things are to people in life--last smiles, last kisses, last goodbyes. I wonder what the world would be like if we looked forward to the firsts, always knowing that somwhere in background the lasts are waiting. Would people slow down? Would they be kinder? Would they complain less and thank more?

Maybe we should ponder the lasts first and see what happens.

Journey on...

Children Need Laptops

I was reading this quote on the side of my Starbucks cup: "All children need a laptop. Not a computer, but a human laptop. Moms, dads, grannies and granpas, aunts, uncles--someone to hold them, read to them, teach them." The quote was from General Colin Powell.

I thought about that quote yesterday and I'll probably be thinking about it a bit today as my daughter is home sick with a cold. She is usually so active, that the only lap time we get is when she is not feeling well and needs a snuggle. She spent a lot of time in my lap yesterday and I must admit that it was nice.

I had a friend and church member, Karen, in Corpus Christi who had two beautiful children. A girl (who was as active and curious as my little one) and a boy (who was a bit younger and quieter). Karen was hosting a Bible study in her home when her daughter, then about 4, ran up and jumped in her lap. She stayed for only a brief moment before flitting off and as she did, we noticed that Karen had a tear welling up in her eye. She said, "you never know when it will be the last time they'll want to sit in your lap."

Those prophetic words ached painfully when, a week later on Thanksgiving Day, Karen suddenly died of cardiac complications. The shock and pain of that loss to everyone was overwhelming. I can't imagine what it has been like for her children these past six years since Karen's death.

And so I try to hold my child just a moment longer in my lap because who knows what the next moment may bring. I hope I am around for a long, long time to be there for my daughter, to provide a lap in which to sit and a loving heart to share. But I also know that there will come a day when my lap will not suffice...my kisses won't heal the boo boos that life will throw at her.

The hardest thing about being a parent isn't all of the challenges of raising a child--it is loving someone so much that you feel as though your own heart is walking around outside of your body. And when I feel how wonderful and awful that is...I remember that God feels the very same thing.

Father...Mother...Creator God made us and loves us so much that when God looks on us, God sees his own heart walking around in the world. Each one of us is that important. So maybe today, we'll find time to sit in the Divine lap...to let God kiss the big and small boo boos that life has thrown at us...and find peace.

Journey on...

Home

I realized something about myself yesterday. While I am out and about, if I see someone wearing a UT sweatshirt or a Dallas Cowboys hat, I smile. What I realized is that I am not smiling because I am a huge Longhorn or Cowboy fan, but because seeing those emblems on t-shirts and hats reminds me of home.

I lived in Texas all of my life. Moving to Washington State was my first out of state move (and of course I picked the farthest place, too). So it is nice to have little reminders of the Lone Star State.

The other day I was walking out of the grocery store wearing a sweatshirt bearing my Alma Mater's name--TCU. A man walking behind me said, "TCU--are you a horned frog?" I was stunned. I said, "I am...are you a Texan?" He said, "No I'm not, but my brother is...he lives in Corpus Christi, TX." I was even more stunned because Corpus Christi, TX is my hometown. I smiled a lot that day.

Now don't get wrong. I love living in Washington State and am in no hurry to move back to TX. But it is nice to have little reminders of home. We get other little reminders of our eternal home, if we but look up and notice them...stop rushing around so much to realize them. God is all around us--in nature, in people, in church--giving us living things to smile about, reminding us of our home.

And it's not that we necessarily want to hurry off to that eternal home soon, but the little reminders are nice. They lift our hearts a little and let us know that there is a place for us beyond this place. If we can recognize them, they'll make a smile a whole lot.

Journey on...

Friday 5

Sally at Revgalblogpals writes:

I am writing in my official capacity of grump!!! No seriously, with the shops and stores around us filling with Christmas gifts and decorations, the holiday season moving up on us quickly for many the time from Thanksgiving onwards will be spent in a headlong rush towards Christmas with hardly a time to breathe.... I am looking at the possibility of finding little gaps in the day or the week to spend in extravagant unbusyness ( a wonderful phrase coined by fellow revgal Michelle)...So given those little gaps, name 5 things you would do to;

1.to care for your body
I have already started working on this one....for the last 8 weeks or so I have been getting up early and working out. Sometimes (if it is a nice morning) I'll walk. But since it is pretty dark in the morning's now, I go the YMCA. I feel wonderful.

2. to care for your spirit
Music has always been a balm for my soul. So I listen to my ipod when I work out (I put a whole bunch of new songs on it last week...my husband snuck a funny one in that made me laugh out loud while I was on the treadmill). Additionally, I find myself listening to it throughout the day. And maybe more importantly, I have been sitting down at the piano and playing.

3. to care for your mind
I have ordered the books for the upcoming Revgalblogpals discussions =). I am hoping to find some time in those little spaces to read. I do love reading and realize that I haven't been feeding my mind in that way much.

4. to bring a sparkle to your eye
My husband and I will be traveling to Texas for Thanksgiving. I grew up in Texas and the one thing I really want to do that I haven't done in a long time is go two-steppin' (if I can talk John into it =). So to bring a spark to my eye, I might try hitting a country western bar while I'm there =) hehe

5. to place a spring in your step
The working out thing is really helping with that. The better I feel physically, the springier my step is =).

and then for a bonus which one on the list are you determined to put into action?
What I am determined to put into inaction is worrying--there are so many details and things that can get overwhelming this time of year. So I am truly hoping to maintain a bigger picture perspective and not sweat the small stuff so much.

Thursday morning

I am up early this morning and have some time for blogging. I was hoping for some grand inspiration--but I'm not feeling really inspired. I think it's too early and I haven't had coffee yet =)

In my prayers, I am aware of how much I worry. I worry about tomorrow a lot and have to remind myself to remain in today. It's a challenge for me. I was reading an old journal of mine from when I was a CPE resident at Parkland Hospital in Dallas. A woman had tragically lost her husband and I wrote down something that she had said to me: "We were always getting ready to do a whole bunch of things."

It was good to read that and remember not to get so caught up in tomorrow, because we just don't know how many tomorrows we have.

I am in the middle of a Stewardship campaign at my church. I love my church...and I worry about my church. In my two years there, we have run deficit budgets and pulled from reserves to get by. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out what will happen down the road if the trend does not change (and so far is hasn't).

I don't know if it is that people cannot give more or that they don't give more. My sermon this past Sunday was received very well, but one person made an interesting comment, "you don't offend." She meant it as a compliment...but I wonder why is it so offensive to think that it takes real dollars and cents to run a church? Maybe I should be more offensive.

I never pictured myself leading a "dying church" and I'm not altogether convinced that that is where we are. But I also acknowledge that death is a part of life...and in faith, there has to be a death before there can be a resurrection.

I don't know what kind of death we must experience at this church before there will be a resurrection. I don't know exactly what the future holds (thought I worry about it endlessly). But for now, I don't want to be "getting ready to do a whole bunch of things." If I (and the church members) can be faithful in the present and do the best we can, even if we go out...at least we can go out with a bang.

Journey on...

Sitting with Job

I am off Lectionary this week and next as we are in the middle of a Stewardship campaign. But I have been reading the lectionary texts for this week and one, in particular has struck a chord:

“O that my words were written down! O that they were inscribed in a book! O that with an iron pen and with lead they were engraved on a rock forever! For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus destroyed, then in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see on my side, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!" Job 19: 23-27

I haven't done much study on the text, but on the surface I recognize a painful longing to believe in the hurting heart, what is known in the logical mind. Job knows that "my Redeemer lives"...but if only those words could be written down...concrete...certain. If only in the midst of pain and confusion, the heart could feel with great confidence the hopeful promise the words hold.

I read the passage from Job and felt like I was sitting with him--in a moment in time where things just don't make as much sense as I'd like them to. I have gone public about the fact that I had an early-term miscarriage in September.

Now in my head I say, "it was early...it was better this way...at least we didn't have to make hard decisions down the road." If only those words could be written down...concrete...certain. If only my heart could feel the same way.

As a pastor, I'm not really sure what to do with my own grief...how much to share...where to cry the tears. I have fallen back on my default of listening and playing music. It is a way of praying and being in the presence of God that is beyond inscribed words. The music helps me to feel that hopeful promise that "my Redeemer lives" and, somehow, so do all of the loved ones and hopes and dreams that we have lost in life.

Journey On...

Friday Five

Mother Laura at Revgalblogpals writes:

Songbird just had an interview for a "vague and interesting" possibility, and More Cows than People is doing campus visits for doctoral programs. There always seem to be a few RevGals applying for new positions, and I just got my first call for this year's preliminary interviews for college teaching jobs at the American Academy of Religion meeting in San Diego coming up in a few weeks. It's for my dream job among this year's offerings, and I am flip flopping between excitement and nervousness. So please keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer for everyone facing such conversations, and share your thoughts on the wonderful world of interviews:

1. What was the most memorable interview you ever had?
I think my most memorable interview was my Ordination interview. All the members of the Commission on the Ministry were present. The were sitting in this large board room around a huge table. When I walked in, they all stood up and when I reached my seat (at the head of the table of course), they all sat down. I was SO nervous

2. Have you ever been the interviewer rather than the interviewee? If so, are you a tiger, a cream puff, or somewhere in between?
I have been the interviewer. My tendency is to be more of a cream puff, but I have learned if you don't be somewhat of a tiger, you may end of hiring the wrong person for the job.

3. Do phone interviews make you more or less nervous than in-person ones?
I don't like in phone interviews because you can't read any non-verbal cues. I really like eye contact and reading people's expressions. So I find phone interviews more difficult.

4. What was the best advice you ever got to prepare for an interview? How about the worst?
I don't know that anyone has ever really given me any advice, other than be yourself. Which has always worked pretty well =)

5. Do you have any pre-interview rituals that give you confidence?
Prayer. Prayer. Prayer. Just before I left my apartment to go to my nerve-wracking ordination interview, there was a knock at the door. I had been fitted for my robe the week before. I was told it would take 4-6 weeks to arrive. When I went to answer the door, it was the UPS man with my robe. somehow, that was a sign for me that everything would be okay.

Are you a reptile?

I saw a funny quote next to a picture of a chameleon with buggly eyes that said, "a reptile can focus on two things at the same time...you are not a reptile." Good advice for those of us living in a world that prizes...no idolizes multi-tasking.



We can't really help it because there are so many expectations placed on us and we feel we have to try to meet all of them. But, as I often like to say, "if my fingers are on everything, my grasp in on nothing."



Still, I (and am I'm sure many people) struggle with focusing on one thing at a time. This morning I got up early and went to the YMCA to workout and had a little unexpected lesson on focus. I thought I'd try one of those pre-programmed sessions on the treadmill. Maybe I won't do that again.



As you grasp the bar on the treadmill, it measures your heart rate--not always accurately, I might add. So every time, my heart rate was below where it should be, the machine would increase the incline and speed. At one point I looked down and the monitor said my heart rate was 76 bpm. NO WAY! I couldn't even talk. I was so focused on not passing out that before I knew it (or before I could jump off and ask for help), the work out was over.



Focusing on something not only makes a task go by quicker, but can help us get through things that seem impossible or overwhelming. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the church...I am overwhelmed by theology, by the many practical questions and issues that come up, by the varied expectations that different people have of me. I struggle between pastoring my flock and seeking out care for myself.



But one word that brings me back into focus is grace. I know I have to do my part, that there is work for me to do. But I also know, when I focus on God's grace...when I let down my guard and let God in, that my efforts are good enough and God takes over the rest.



I am not a reptile. That's for sure. But thank God for grace that reminds of what the true focus in life really is.



Journey on...

Stewardshift

I attended a seminary yesterday for clergy entitled Stewardshift. You can guess that it was about Stewardship. My church is on the cusp on the annual Stewardship drive and I must admit that I feel a sense of dread about it. Why is that?

It is because I don't like asking for money? Is it because I don't think I should be asking for money or that I think people will be offended by such a request?

I think the real reason I dread it is because maybe the church doesn't do Stewardship very well. By that I mean, we devote a few weeks a year to it and then avoid the subject like the plague the rest of the year.

True Stewardship is more than about filling out a pledge card once a year...it is something that should be lived out in every moment of life.

I am starting to realize how many messages about money we get on a daily basis (it's funny that you see so many commercials, you start to just expect them to be there and don't realize the subtle effect they have on your thinking). Media and news culture sends us messages every day--buy this thing and you'll be happy; earn more, get more and you'll feel secure.

And beyond commercials and advertisements there is news that fuels our fears of scarcity: the housing market has tanked, social security will go bankrupt, if a disaster hits your area, be prepared to go it alone for at least 7 days.

The messages that we are bombarded with daily tell us that money is equated with fear--fear of not having enough. So it is no wonder we fear the annual Stewardship Campaign. Churches (at least my church) never seem to have enough.

I'm beginning to think that this is not because people don't have more to give, but that we've all been taught by those daily messages to grasp tightly to what we have because enough is never enough.

So how do we truly shift our thinking from scarcity to abundance, from fear to peace, from apprehension to joy? We have to get the word out, circulate the message for more than just a few weeks in November. Stewardship is more than just about filling out a pledge card once a year, it is about knowing a God who changes our perceptions on wants and needs...it is about being thankful for what we have right now...it is about knowing a God who provides enough for every moment of life and wanting to share that rich abundance and grace in all areas of life.

It's a start...

Journey on...

Jesus and Big Bird

My child is really getting into imaginary play. The other day she was sitting in the kitchen while I was making dinner. She took a kitchen towel and wrapped it around her head like a head scarf. I asked, "who are you?" She answered, "Jesus." Then a few seconds later she said, "no, Big Bird."

I thought, "well, that works." Jesus' lessons are good...Big Bird's lessons are good too. What amazes me is that, at such a young age, my child is learning the language of faith. It also amazes me how the church (and families) overlook the great importance of that learning. I am very concerned about the intellectual and social development of my child, but am I as concerned about the spiritual development?

Families and churches of all sizes and shapes should be challenged by this...that if we do not teach the little children about faith, perhaps Big Bird will be only role-model they imitate. Food for thought.

Journey on...

The Halo Effect

I came across the term "Halo Effect" in college psychology. I think of it in terms of how it is used (often times unintentionally) in the practice of hiring people. How this works is that the potential employer sees one characteristic or strength in a potential job candidate, and they are willing to look past all other (sometimes crucial) weaknesses or deficiencies because they highly prize the one strength.

I thought of the Halo effect when I read an article in yesterday's (October 7) version of the New York Times. Thou Shalt Not Kill, Except in a Popular Video Game at Church tells the story of how a growing number of churches are using the popular video game Halo to attract adolescent boys to church.

The video game is extremely popular (hence the one strong characteristic). The video game is also extremely violent (weakness number one). It is so violent, that it cannot be purchased by anyone under the age of 17 (weakness number two). In spite of the violence and age restriction, churches are making the video games available to adolescent boys 17 and under (weakness number 3!).

The article quotes Gregg Barbour, the youth minister of Colorado Community Church (a church that uses Halo to attract teens), as saying, "Once they come for the games...they will stay for [the] Christian message." " We want to make it hard for teenagers to go to hell," Mr. Barbour wrote in a letter to parents at the church.

To my basic Christian sensibilities, the idea of using violent video games as an evangelistic tool seems blasphemous and dangerous. Churches struggle so hard to be relevant that it seems we forget that we are to be countercultural...to be in the world but not of it...to offer a voice a peace when surrounded by violence.

It is ironic that the article was next to one about the growing sexual violence against women and children in the Congo...and another article about more violence in the middle east.

The article does site the challenge the church faces of reaching out to adolescent boys and young men. I don't have an answer for that. But it is not so very hard for teenagers to go to hell--there are plenty of hells on earth. Just turn off the video game and look around. And then maybe we can convince young people that virtual and real peace is a much higher characteristic to prize.

I'd be interested in any thoughts on the subject.

Journey On...

All the World's a Stage

I have beaten off the blogging path lately and meandered far away...but I am back today with some thoughts and reflections. A few weeks ago, our next door neighbors put their house up for sale. They moved in just shortly before we moved into our house last year so we were a bit surprised to see the sign.

We should have seen it coming because there was plenty of activity leading up to the house actually being placed on the market--there was painting and fixing up. But perhaps the most interesting thing that happened is what is commonly known as staging. I have seen it on TV and the concept intrigues me.

At our neighbors house, a crew of two women showed up and they worked in the front yard, planted pretty flowers, placed a nice outdoor table and chair set on the front deck. They spent the entire day in the house bringing in furniture, hanging pictures, placing lamps and other decorative items. All of this activity is followed up with a thorough cleaning of the house--everything has to be spotless and even the shoes at the front door have to be lined up just so.

I have never sold a house, but talking to those who have and observing our neighbors (who are having a difficult time selling a house in a difficult market), it is not a fun adventure. As one friend, who was selling her house while raising 5 children, said, "it's like living in a museum."

I think it's kind of funny that when you're selling your house, it has to be perfect. Because you know once someone buys it and moves it, it isn't going to that way from day to day. Our house certainly isn't. So why is it so important for things to be perfect...for everything to be placed just so...for the whole environment to be "staged?"

It could be that buying a house is such a big purchase you want everything to look perfect. Or could it be that we want to things to appear perfect, because we know that life is not. Many times I think we live our lives as though we are in a museum--we want the outward appearance to be just so...don't give any hint to others that things are not perfect and in order.

But maintaining that kind of outward appearance is exhausting. So who do you trust to let down your guard...who do you invite into the messy rooms of your soul? If there is not another person (and I do hope there is), then know that there is God. God doesn't expect things to be staged, or ordered or perfect. God accepts you as you are--clothes on the floor, furniture undusted, dishes on the counter.

It is good to know that in a world where so many things seem "staged," we can just be who we are and know that that is good enough for God.

Journey on...

Six Years Later

I must admit that, until watching the 10 o'clock news last night, I almost forgot the significance of today. I guess this is what happens as time goes on--wounds heal and life continues. But any one of us can think back to six years ago and we can remember exactly what we were doing when we found out.

I was a CPE student at Parkland Hospital in Dallas and had just arrived at the hospital when the first plane hit. I remember everything about that day in great detail. But six years later, life goes on and the world seems much different now than it did then. I think this is not just because of that tragedy, but because of other world crises like Iraq and Darfur (just to name a few).

I am thinking about September 11 in light of one of the Lectionary texts for this week: Luke 15: 1-10 (the Parables about the Lost Sheep and the Woman and the Lost coin). I have been meditating on this idea of "one"--what does it mean to be the one who is lost and/or the one who is found. It seems foolish to leave the 99 sheep unattended or the abandon everything to go off in search of one lost coin.

When we are among the 99, it is tempting to think that the one does not matter. But consider these words from Leonard Sweet in his book The Gospel According to Starbucks: "For now, though, think of the power of one even without God. Think of Hitler, or Stalin, or Mao. It didn't take them hundreds of years to produce their own holocausts. It took only one lifetime for Mao to end the lives of well over seventy million in China. Not to mention Pinochet, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, and other twentieth-century tyrants. It only takes one. Small is the new large." (10)

The one does matter. Six years later, I am more aware of the power of one person to reap death and destruction on innocent lives. We should heed Jesus' words this week, not only because they remind us to be hospitable to those we view as "outsiders," but also because we are (like it or not) interconnect to all of God's creatures.

We should heed Jesus' words this week because when the one is lost, we are all lost.

Journey on...

Friday's Five

Sally at revgalblogpals writes: "I am preparing this Friday 5 just before I take Chris into hospital for a cardioversion, right now we are all a little apprehensive. But this whole thing has got me thinking, so many of us are overcomers in one way or another, so many have amazing stories to tell of God's faithfulness in adversity. And so I bring you this Friday 5:"

1.Have you experienced God's faithfulness at a difficult time? Tell as much or as little as you like...
Oh my goodness...there have been several times when God's faithfulness has brought me through difficulty. I think the most painful was when I was 23 and my fiance broke off our engagement just 2 months before the wedding. I didn't know then that it was the best thing--that someone for me was waiting out there--all I knew was that I felt crushed. It was a hard situation because we were both in Seminary and both living in the same Seminary housing complex, so I could not get away. The stress of the situation exacerbated a neurological condition that I have--dystonia--causing my head to shake and get stuck in a posturing position.

I think that was a time in my life when I felt just utterly miserable.

2. Have you experienced a dark night of the soul, if so what brought you through?
I think that breakup threw me into the dark night of the soul. The three things that brought me through: faith, family and wonderful friends.

3. Share a Bible verse, song, poem that has brought you comfort?
Psalm 121 was a Biblical balm. The words to the Indigo Girls song Ghost became my lament.

4. Is "why suffering" a valid question?
I don't know if it is a "logical" question, but it seems to be primal. We naturally ask "why?" so there must be some reason for it.

5. And on a lighter note- you have reached the end of a dark and difficult time- how are you going to celebrate?
About 5 years after that breakup, I decided to do something positive in my life. So I joined the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society's Team in Training Program and ran my 1st marathon--and it was through that experience that I met the love of my life.

Journey on....

The Tyranny of Distance

I turned on the TV just briefly the other day to catch the middle of a program on PBS. All I got was that it was a program about the US military doing humanitarian work for the people in the Mohave Desert (with the hopes of befriending them and gaining information from them about potential terrorists moving through the area).

The cinematography was stunning. The initial picture that came up was of this solitary mud hut with maybe 5 people standing in and around it. The hut was engulfed in the lower frame by desert and in the top by an almost cloudless sky. The military official interviewed spoke about the "tyranny distance" in that place--the fact that people are so isolated that part of what the military brings is not only glasses and other needed supplies, but some kind of contact from elsewhere to confirm that elsewhere does exist.

I heard someone say that when they visited Texas, they thought surely the sun would touch the ground. I thought maybe they were talking about the fact that there are more hours of daylight in Texas than Washington during the winter months. But thinking on it now, though Texas is dotted with large cities and innumerable ranches in between, it is mostly flat. There is not a lot to break up the scenery, so it does appear (especially in the Coastal Plains near my home) that the sun will literally touch the ground.

I personally have always loved the mountains and now I wonder if part of that love comes from the fact that glorious mountains break up the scenery...glorious mountains dispel the tyranny of distance by drawing our gaze upward. When I look at the mountains, I can't help but think of God.

I do enjoy going back home and seeing those Coastal Plains--they remind me that somewhere out there where the sky and the ground meet, is someone else, some place else where people live and breath, have joys and sorrows just like you and me.

But for now, I will take the mountains that point my gaze to the God who gives breath and life...to the God who lives in our joys and carries us through our sorrows.

Journey on...

Some more thoughts on the Lectionary

In a Sunday sermon, it is hard to cover all the ground sometimes that could be covered. For yesterday's sermon, I chose Luke 14: 1-14 (I included the middle part the lectionary leaves out). I focused on vs. 11: "For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

One question that I didn't get to develop too much is this: what does it truly mean to be humble? Merriam-Webster provides the following definitions: "1. not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive; 2. reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission; 3.) ranking low in a hierarchy or scale."

I'm pretty much okay with all of these definitions, but I have some issues with "not assertive." If it is not being assertive in an arrogant way, that is one thing; but, too often humility becomes synonymous with non-assertiveness in Christianity and that causes issues.

Brian Stoffrengen in his Exegetical Notes at Crossmarks deals with the difficulties of the word "humble/humility." He describes how, too often, the word humble becomes synonymous with being nice. "Humility becomes being passive. Letting others walk all over us. Jesus shows by his life that being humble didn't mean being passive, but, when necessary, it meant taking out the whip and driving the self-centered bullies out of the temple."

There are times when, as Christians, we are called to be assertive. We should never be arrogant in our expressions, but we should also never let others walk all over us. Some food for thought.

Journey on....

Post Junior Camp

I can't believe it has been so long since I've blogged. I was at the Gwinwood Christian Camp last week in Lacey, WA directing Junior Camp. The camp is for children going into 4th, 5th & 6th grade--as you can guess if you live in a different part of the country, school doesn't begin here until after Labor Day.

About 3 weeks before the camp, I received an email stating that the camp was going to be cancelled because the director had backed out. I don't really know what all happened there, but I just couldn't swallow having a summer camp cancelled. So I sent an email to our Regional minister and then I became the director of the camp =).

So I have been working overtime for the last 3 weeks trying to get it all together. I'm happy to report that everything went well. We had children with some issues, but overall it was a very meaningful camp.

The children didn't really know or process the situation with the camp director, all they knew was that they were having a great time. And as I watched them swim, worship, play, enjoy camp fires, etc, I thought to myself, "this is because you said 'yes' to God's calling to do something." God does wonderful things when we say 'yes.'

Journey On...

Friday's 5--STRESS

1. First, and before we start busting stress, what causes you the most stress, is it big things or the small stuff ?

I think what causes me the most ongoing stress is the "to do" list in my head. It is always longer than I have time to deal with. There's also some expectations wrapped up in all that--wanting to be a good Pastor, mother, wife, etc. and sometimes feeling like I do a mediocre job at all that stuff.

2. Exercise or chocolate for stress busting ( or maybe something else) ?
I love chocolate, but am finding (in my mid 30's), that it hangs around a lot more these days =). I also love exercise, so I have to make time for it. If I remember it, deep breathing helps for the really stressful moments.

3.What is your favourite music to chill out to?
I like all kinds. I have an ipod and I put anything I like on it and then hit "shuffle." I'm usually pleased with the outcome =)

4. Where do you go to chill?
Before my daughter came along, I had this Lazy boy chair I'd sit and rock in while listening to music. That doesn't work so well these days, so my chill out place is out walking at the school. I also now live in a part of the world where I can drive up into the mountains--20 minutes and I'm there. Sometimes I do that if I just need some thinking time or need to be alone.

5. Extrovert or introvert, do you relax at a party, or do you prefer a solitary walk?
It is funny that there are so many characteristics of mine that would make one think I'm an extrovert. But I am definitely an introvert. If I'm really stressed, I need that quiet walk or that ride up into the mountains.

Bonus: The deep breathing really does work. I was running late to an appointment yesterday, so rather than look at the clock and get angry at the people driving way to slow in front of me, I decided to breath. When you focus on the breath, you can really block (at least for a little while)some of the irritants that make your stress worse.

Journey on...

Last Friday's 5

I love the Friday 5.

1.) Have I ever been on a Pilgrimage?
In 1994, I went with a group of students to Italy to study Christian art & architecture. We went to Rome, Assisi and Florence. It was very much like a pilgrimage being in places where people of faith had been many years prior and left their mark in carvings, frescoes, paintings, stained glass, sculptures and more.

2.)Share a place you have always wanted to go on a pilgrimage to.
The Holy Land

3.)What would you make sure to pack in your suitcase or backpack to make the pilgrimage more meaningful? Or does "stuff" just distract from the experience?
From my trip to Italy, I learned that a backpack would be much better than a suitcase! Clean underwear and a good camera is a must.

4.) If you could make a pilgrimage with someone (live, dead or fictional) as your guide, who would it be?
My grandmother. She was such an important person in my life and she died when I was 11. I would love to share a pilgrimage with her.

5.)Eventually the pilgrim must return home, but can you suggest any strategies for keeping that deep "mountaintop" perspective in the midst of everyday life?
I think pictures help a lot. If you can keep a journal on your journey, that always is refreshing to go back and read.

When I was in Assisi, there was an artist doing a watercolor landscape with the Prayer of St. Francis scripted on it. It was one of my most favorite things that I brought back. Looking at it gave me a feeling that I had about Assisi. One of my good friends, who was unable to afford the trip, loved the picture. So when she graduated from college, I gave it to her as a present. She moved to KY for Seminary and I stayed in TX for Seminary. Four years later, when I graduated with my M.Div., a package from her showed up on my doorsteps. I opened it to find that precious picture.

So maybe you should try to find something special from your pilgrimage to give away--never know when or how it will come back to you and increase that "mountaintop" experience.

Journey on...

You HAVE to be kidding

It has been awhile since I've blogged. I got back from General Assembly and went straight to work putting together a camp for children going into grades 4,5 & 6 next year. I hadn't planned on directing this camp, but it was going to be cancelled because the original director backed out. I didn't think that was acceptable, so naturally I am now directing =)

As I have looked over the list of kids coming, I must admit I have some anxieties. Children with ADHD and one with some other behavioral issues. What HAVE I signed up for? But then I must remember that my assumptions about how things are or are going to be are not always right.

For instance, my perception of my almost 3 year old Border Collie is that he is crazed. After all, he did practically flunk out of dog obedience 101. But when out playing Frisbee with him in the park, more than one person has commented, "What an obedient dog." My reaction--you have to be kidding me, right?

Take for another instance, my perception of our outing the other night to a local restaurant with our 3 year old child. The whole time, I felt like I was working overtime trying to keep her calm and was worried that she was bothering everyone around us. But as we left, a man said, "Ma'am. I want you to know that your child is so well behaved." My reaction--you have to be kidding me, right?

Take for a final instance my perception that I could personally stand to lose a little weight. I think I looked better when I was a size or two smaller. But a couple of Sundays ago, a female church member said, "you have the nicest figure!" Of course she was 95, but my reaction--you have to be kidding me, right?

So often I get it in my head that things are one way, but often they aren't...or others don't see it the way I do. I am glad that God sees things differently. That God doesn't believe the negative self talk or negative perceptions that we have about ourselves and others. God keeps telling us, "You're MY special child." And our reaction--you have to be kidding me, right?

Lucky for us, God is good at changing perceptions and minds.

Journey on...

Where's the Tylenol?

After hauling way-to-heavy luggage on my recent travels, I aggravated my upper back and right arm. I was in a lot of pain for a few days, but with ice and Tylenol, it is better.

I recently heard a friend talk about a trip she took with some medical missionaries to Honduras. She showed me a picture of a barefoot woman with a bundle on her back. After looking at the picture closely, I could see that the bundle was a baby--it was a Honduran style Bijorn.

This one particular woman had walked barefoot for 7 miles to get Tylenol. Tylenol--something I thoughtlessly pick up at the grocery store and thoughtlessly take for my little aches and pains.

I wonder how many times that woman had little and big aches and pains and had no way to relieve them. I wonder how many times her baby had a fever and she worried because she had nothing to give to her to help.

We take so many things for granted don't we. Maybe we should take a moment today to be thankful for even the smallest of things.

Journey on...

Home Again

I am back in Sumner, WA and thanking God for safe travels. For complete coverage on assembly news, you can go to the Disciples web page for updates on business, worship, etc. Though we are denomination (like many today) facing challenges, it seems to me that we are better spiritually than we have been in years. Over and over again I kept hearing our denomination described as one who mission is to bring wholeness to a fragmented world--what a blessed call that, hopefully, we can live into at the local congregational level. Blessings to you today.

Journey on...

Share the Feast--Day 2

Just a quick note before heading out to today's events. Yesterday was full of fellowship, business, food and worship. I don't see Dr. Sharon Watkins address online, but you can follow this link to get an update on what has been going on at assembly.

There were so many people at the Fiesta last night that, after getting my food, it took me 30 minutes to relocate my table! And in between I ran into at least 5 friends I have not seen for more than 10 years. What a joy! I might have taken my hand at riding the mechanical bull, but time ran out and we had to go to worship (darn =).

Will update more later. Journey on...

Sharing the Feast

The first day of General Assembly has been amazing. Personally, it has been like this ultra family and friend reunion--I have run into old friends and professors from college and seminary, colleagues, mentors, church members and friends.

Spiritually, I have been uplifted by the two messages I have now heard. The first was at the Board of Church Extension dinner where the Rev. Dr. Cynthia Hale spoke. She was one of the first new church planters over 20 years ago. Her church, Ray of Hope Christian Church, in Atlanta, GA has welcomed over 10,000 members since its inception. Two things key to the fruitfulness of her labor? Love and PASSION. I couldn't agree more. Without a passion for the love of God, there isn't much to inspire, is there?

The second message was from Dr. Daisy Machado. The sermon was based on the feeding of the 5,000 and focused on our need to do the work of mingling among the crowds, seeing people as people and having compassion for them rather than fear of them.

Today promises to be another full day of fellowship and worship. Will write more later.

Journey on...

Friday 5 on Saturday

I'm sitting here doing some catching up before delving into General Assembly and Sally from RevGalBlogPals posted 5 questions for pondering that I would like to answer:

1. Share a moment/ time of real encouragement in your journey of faith:
Last year I was at the 100th Anniversary of my home church (First Christian Church, Corpus Christi, TX). There were lots of former ministers attending including a man named Jack Meyers. When I was 10 and my maternal grandmother, to whom I was very close, became ill with cancer, Jack was there with the family. When my grandmother died, Jack came over to the house and I don't really know why, but I started crying when he walked through the door. He saw me crying and walked past all of the adults to the chair where I was sitting and he knelt down and began talking to me in a way that I could understand. He embodied God's compassion and I've never forgotten it. So it was very poignant to me, when after this Anniversary celebration last year, he pulled me aside and took the stole that he was wearing off and put it on me. I cried again. It was a cathartic moment and almost a commissioning--a symbol action reminding me that it is now my turn to embody God's compassion to others.

2.) I love what another person wrote--modesty...or moderation. I have grand visions a lot of the time for work, family and ministry...and then I realize that I need to just take one step at a time. There will always be items left on my "to do" list; but, if I am being faithful and doing the best that I can, that is enough.

3.) I will hire a youth/education minister =) Open a food pantry and contribute large sums of money to the Yakama Christian Mission. AND I would write more and speak more at retreats and other spiritual renewal events. AND maybe get a doctorate (I think I need to go back to moderation =).

4.)I think I have to let myself sit with the feeling of disappointment for a while. My default is to move on as quickly as possible, but if I can sit with it for a while, sometimes new thoughts or ideas come to mind. Conversations with a few trusted souls helps me through disappointing times. But it is prayer that really keeps me going.

5.) I wonder about number 5--is it familial roots or church roots? My familial roots are really important to me (even though I now live thousands of miles away from family). As I learn more about family history, I begin to connect with my ancestral history. I thought I was a pioneer by become a female minister, but I think there were a lot of devoted, strong women in my family paving the way for me. My church roots are really important to me. I see those roots embodied in two areas--focus on Scripture (and the freedom to interpret the "non-essentials") and in the sharing of Communion every Sunday.

Share the Feast

This week is the General Assembly gathering of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). We're gathering in Ft. Worth--my old stomping grounds--which is home to Texas Christian University where I earned my B.A. and my M.Div. (from Brite Divinity School).

It is strange being back in a place that is so familiar, but that has changed so much over the course of years. Coming so close on the heels of our other whirl-wind Texas trip, I was afraid I would just be too tired. But I am starting to feel some excitement and energy.

The Assembly officially begins this evening and I'll be posting updates on what's going on.

Journey on...

A Voice in the Wilderness

This past Sunday, my child and I drove down to Portland, Oregon to meet my husband at the finish line of the Seattle to Portland ride. John, along with over 9,000 other riders, was a real trooper having ridden 206 miles in 2 days.

The finish line, as you may suspect, was a buzz of activity. The riders finished at Holladay park which was decorated with tents of foods, beverages, t-shirts and other items for sale, water, music and more. My 3 year-old was having quite a time bee bopping around the park (she was like a pin-ball bouncing around the inside of pin-ball machine).

At one point we made our way to the end of the park where the trolley line comes in. There were people getting off trains and others waiting to get on. And in the midst of that activity stood a tall, slender, African-American woman with a podium and Bible. She wasn't preaching hell, fire and damnation, but instead was reading from the Psalms.

I passed a couple of men sitting just behind her who were explicitly talking about how drunk they had gotten the night before...I was so busy chasing my little pin-ball that I couldn't stop and talk...and there were hordes of people doing the same thing.

I have been thinking about that scene for the last few days, wondering if what that woman was doing constitutes a true proclamation of the Word. When we think on evangelism and spreading God's Word, is that what we are supposed to do--preach to hordes of people who barely notice and barely care?

If evangelism is measured by faithfulness, then that woman was certainly successful. I think it must have taken a great deal of faith and courage to stand there and read her Bible. But I also wonder about the measure of fruitfulness--should evangelism produce some tangible, visible end result? Should the Word be presented in such a way that people take notice--that people are affected and maybe changed?

Maybe the success of evangelism lies somewhere in between faith and fruit =). In faithfulness we do what we can and pray for God to provide the fruitful harvest.

Journey on...

What a Long Strange Trip It's Been

We got back from vacation on Sunday evening around 8:00 p.m. Needless to say, we were exhausted. We had flown into Dallas, TX where we stayed with relatives for 2 days, driven down to Corpus Christi where we stayed for 4 days and attended one wedding party for my brother and a birthday party for my child, then we drove to Houston for a wedding rehearsal and then the wedding the next day, then we drove from Houston to Dallas to catch our plane back.

And the entire time I ate too much BBQ, slept too little and only got one 45 minute workout in. To top it off, one of our beloved church members passed away on Wednesday of the week I was gone...so I had to work overtime when I got back to prepare a funeral service which was held for her yesterday.

I feel a little confused about where I am and where I have been. It seemed appropriate that when we landed in SeaTac, the first song to come on over the speaker was the Grateful Dead's "Truckin" in which the lyrics 'What a Long Strange Trip It's Been" seemed all too fitting.

My time away was punctuated by moments of joy at being with dear friends and loved family, nostalgia as we drove past our old house in Dallas, confusion as I met my soon-to-be sister-in-law and wasn't quite sure what to make of her, irritation as I attended my brother's wedding held at a Church of Christ (I was asked by two people what I do and when I told them I was a pastor, there was nothing but disapproving silence), and sadness as I thought about my church member who had passed away--a woman who had been in church just the previous Sunday.

I was happy to return home if for no other reason than to get back into a routine that would restore a sense of normalcy and comfort. Of course there is nothing normal about our weather today--forecasters are predicting a high of 98! And we don't have air conditioning (yikes).

Through my experience of the past week, I have come to appreciate again how hard it can be for worshipping communities to change. After all, what is more foundational to one's sense of normalcy and what is right in a chaotic world than the dependability of ordered worship. And yet, ordered worship can become stagnant and unimaginative too.

Through the long strange trip of this past week, the one thing that seemed to bring me a sense of calm and peace, was prayer--even just a few brief moments of prayer. Again, this was a reminder to me that we cannot stop change, but we can navigate through it better when we are focused on what is most important--when we focus on God.

I don't know what kind of travels the summer holds for you, but I hope they will be maybe a little less hectic and topsy-turvey...and that through it all, God will be at the forefront of every moment.

Journey on...

'El Queso' Mata! – 'Cheese' Kills

We're on vacation and I'm loving the opportunity to read a little bit without the pressure of having to crank out a sermon for two Sundays! I am trying to read The Gospel According to Starbucks by Leonard Sweet, which is turning out to be a great book.

Additionally, I did something I haven't done in a long time--I picked up the Sunday morning paper (yes, the print edition!) and read it. The Dallas Morning News had this article buried somewhere deep in section C, "Marchers Take on Cheese." There was a picture of a small group of mostly Mexican Americans, donning t-shirts with the slogan "'El Queso' Mata!" marching to make people aware of the dangers of cheese.

Cheese? What's wrong with cheese I wondered? With the rash of recalls from pet food to toothpaste, I was alarmed to think that one of my favorite foods could now possibly kill me. I was pained to read about how two families had lost teenagers to overdoses of cheese. But it wasn't until halfway through the article that I realized "cheese" is a name for a mixture of cold medication and heroine.

I felt a little silly that I hadn't seen (note to self: put on glasses before reading) the subtitle to the article: "Northwest Dallas: Parents, police rally to promote awareness of drug." For someone who doesn't know the lingo, awareness is needed in order to gain understanding.

I wonder how often people come through the doors of church and feel the same confusion about church lingo that I felt about the dangers of "cheese." I am reluctant to utter words like: Sanctification, Justification, Ordinances, Salvation, Doxology, etc. because although I know these words well, I am aware that they are at best confusing and at worst meaningless to a lot of people.

So I continue to pray for guidance in writing subtitles that are bold and finding words that convey the most important aspect of the life of faith: that God in Jesus Christ loves us more than we can imagine.

Journey on...

Delay

I am very guilty of living in the future. My mind is sometimes racing with thoughts about what I need to accomplish in the next few hours, the next few days, the next few weeks--so much so that I really do forget to live in the moment.

Yesterday, my child "B" and I left from church to go for a ride. One of our favorite routes is a highway that goes from the valley up to Mt. Rainier. On a clear day, it is a gorgeous ride--and just long enough for B to maybe take a nap.

I was ready to go yesterday when a parishioner showed up just wanting to say hi. He only delayed us for about 5 minutes, but it may have been an important five minutes. As we left and made our way up out of the valley, several emergency vehicles passed us. Then more emergency vehicles passed us. I started counting and I'm not kidding, about 15 first responders (police, fire trucks, ambulances, etc) passed us by.

Just a few minutes up the road, we came to a stop. I could see all of the lights flashing up ahead. All I could tell is that there had been a wreck and it was pretty bad. As we sat there, two more emergency vehicles passed by. Clearly we were going to be sitting there for a long time, so I turned around and we went through to pick up some fast food for lunch (healthy, I know).

As we were pulling out, I saw two more firetrucks heading up to the accident scene and one ambulance coming back. I assumed the ambulance was rushing off to the hospital. As it passed by we could see the silhouettes of people standing and working on someone. I suggested that we pray. My little child agreed and we prayed for that person in the ambulance and the people who were working so hard to try to help them.

And I wondered, had not my parishioner, known for the gift of gab, stopped by to say "hi," would we have been in that wreck? or close enough to it that we would have seen what had taken place? I don't know, but it was a stark reminder of how life can change in an instant and how important it is to appreciate what you have right in front of you--even if it is the person who likes to talk a lot =). I must remember to thank him.

Journey on....

Rattle, Thunder, Clap!

The other day we had two rounds of thunderstorms in our area. When I lived in TX, I was used to those kinds of storms, but it never storms like that here. My child was upstairs watching TV, when a flash of lightening struck very close by, followed by a ground-shaking boom.

B screamed instantly. I think it was the first time B had heard a noise that loud. There were tears and then the persistent question, "is the fire coming back?" I guess that flash did look like fire.

We're just not accustomed to that kind of commotion anymore. And when something like that happens, we have to alter our plans, maybe do things a little more differently than we might have. I was working on something downstairs when that happened, but ended up spending the next hour or so cuddling with B. And that was okay.

I wonder, though, as the pastor of a long-established church, is it truly possible to alter plans...do things differently than we might have? I catch myself becoming entrenched in my own way of thinking and then realize that I need to be open to other possibilities, but I know that is not easy.

I guess the key is to try to focus on God, remembering the words of Christ, "apart from me, you can do nothing." And in Christ, all things are made possible, right?

Journey on...

More than just a bird

Peacock
Originally uploaded by johnrite.

This Saturday was a beautiful day and we decided to enjoy it by going to the Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma. The zoo is small but very nice. In addition to the exhibits you'd expect at a zoo (elephants, tigers, monkey), Pt. Defiance has a roaming exhibit--the Peacock pictured above.

We had seen the Peacock at various points during our visit, but happened to come around the corner just as the bird was getting its ire up and boldly displaying its feathers. My husband captured this beautiful picture--and then the bird charged at us! We quickly moved on to the more sedate penguin house.

But this beautiful photo made me remember something that I learned on a trip to Italy...that Peacocks were symbolic of eternal life in the early church. I remember seeing the Peacock on frescoes in catacombs and mosaics on church floors.

The Peacock came to symbolize immortality because of an ancient myth that the flesh of a Peacock would not decay. It also came to symbolize resurrection as it sheds its feathers for newer and brighter ones every year.

The Peacock's spread of brilliantly colored, spotted feathers serve as a protection mechanism--making the bird look twice its normal size. The many "eyes" of the Peacock's feathers came to symbolize the many eyes of God--able to watch and see many things at the same time.

I'm not sure why the Peacock fell out of favor as a Christian symbol, maybe someone out there can answer that question. But I do know the bird is magnificent, perhaps pointing us to something divine even in the everyday setting of the city zoo.

Journey on....

Chiaroscuro

Happy Summer Solstice! It is June 21st--the longest day of the year. Before moving to Washington State, I didn't even know what the Summer Solstice was. In Texas, the days get longer in the summer and shorter in the winter, but not quite to the degree we see in Washington.

Here, on the longest day of the year, the birds start chirping at 4:00 a.m. and the sun is still setting at 9:45! And in the winter, on the shortest day of the year, we are lucky to get 8 hours of daylight. This swing between day and night is even more exaggerated in Alaska and places further north.

On the darkest day of winter, December 21st, we gather for a "Longest Night Service." We talk a lot about the light of Christ coming into a dark world. And from the darkest days of winters, you would think that the really long days are a welcomed thing. But sometimes I feel like all this sunlight is too much. Can you have such a thing as too much sunlight??

I am reminded of an art term that a picked up some years ago, Chiaroscuro, which is the interplay of light and dark in creating a work of art. If you have too much darkness, there is no light and life in a painting. If you have too much light, there are no shadows to create depth and texture in a painting.

As I bask in so much sunlight, I learn to appreciate the darkness of the winters...the darker parts of life that create shadows and depth in my being. Without both, we are not true works of art.

Journey on...

What was THAT?

Most families have at least one snorer, right? Stereotypically we always think it is the guy in the house making all that noise. But I must confess that I come from a long line of down right raucus honkers! And, for the record, the guy in the house snores too, but he has nothing on the nasal caucophony that comes out of my mouth when I hit the R.E.M. sleep.

As if the snoring is not enough, my child "B" will, from time to time, crawl into bed with us. This usually causes "the shuffle." B climbs into our bed and one of us climbs out of bed in search of a quieter, less crowded place to sleep.

This was the scene last night at my house. We had all settled back in for the night--dad in the guest room =) and mom and B in the master bedroom. This was all fine until I was startled awake by a big THUD! The moment every parent dreads had come--my child had fallen out of bed.


B immediately started crying, mostly because B was very scared. And who wouldn't be? When we are deep in sleep there is nothing like a loud snore, or a loud noise, or contact with the floor to scare the daylights out of you.

So what happens when we are shaken out of our daily slumber--when something unexpected startles us awake and scares the daylights out of us? Maybe the disruption is a unwelcomed diagnosis, or the death of a friend, or a change in work life. Whatever it may be, when the unexpected jolts us awake, I think God is especially present in those times.

The moment I realized my child had fallen, I instinctively lept out of bed and scooped her up in my arms to make sure B was okay and to comfort B. Is this not what God does for us? The Psalmist said it perfectly in Psalm 121: "...He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand."

God is like a mother who scoops her children up off of the floor and comforts us when we are hurt, confused or scared. Though we never outgrow the fear of the unexpected and the unwelcomed, there is something reassuring about knowing that God is always with us.

Journey on...

Eliminating Debt

It is really easy these days for people to get into financial difficulty because of debt. This is often the topic on talk shows and in magazine articles and books. We know, as a culture, what it is to be in debt financially.

But there are other kinds of equally destructive debt that we accumulate in other areas of life. Life debt is much less recognizable in a success-driven world, but it is as prevalent as financial debt.

As the parent of a soon-to-be three year old, I am constantly testing myself to make sure that I am spending adequate time with my child and giving my child an adequate amount of attention. I don't just do this because B is a preacher's kid and I don't want B to be maladjusted =)...but I do it because I know how easy it is to think I must first get this thing done, or attend to that thing...and before you know it I have missed out on opportunities to spend quality time with my child.

The book, Parent Trek: Nurturing Creativity and Care in our Children, quotes Arlie Hochschild, a professor at the University of California as stating "that time with children cannot be borrowed: 'Often parents...unwittingly create little debt collectors in their children. In exchange for not being available,...they will trade time on an upcoming Saturday for lack of time now. Thus, the family copes with Monday through Friday with the promise of Saturday. The children collect not bills, but love, payable at a later date.'"

Ouch! I really want to try not to do that. And hopefully we can all have the sense of mind to not put off the things that are truly important to us. There will always be work to do, tasks to accomplish, stuff to get done...but time with loved ones cannot be borrowed back once it is spent.

So make the time today to hug your children, converse with your spouse, call your mom or email a friend.

Journey on...

Are You Saved?

As a member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), one of the things I prize about our identity is our sense of tolerance. One of the sayings from Alexander Campbell, one of the founders of the church, is: "In Essentials Unity, in Non-Essentials Liberty, in all things Charity."

I like the statement because it asserts that there are essentials of the faith that are non-negotiable and then there are non-essentials that are open for debate and discussion. And when we debate and discuss, we try to do so with an air of respect and tolerance for diverging views and opinions.

But what do you do when you have a hard time distinguishing essentials from non-essentials...what do you do when you have a difficult time tolerating those who are intolerant?

I have a hard time tolerating those who reject the legitimacy of women in ministry. I have a hard time tolerating those who simplify complex issues with one-liners and refuse to think or research the subject which the speak against. I have a hard time tolerating Christians who think that the most important aspect of faith is being saved by confessing Jesus as Christ. Am I sounding intolerant yet?

I guess recognizing areas of intolerance is the first step in opening the door to new learning and understanding. I must say that I really am annoyed by Christians who think that they have "saved" someone because they led that person to say with their lips, "I believe that Jesus is the Christ...my personal Lord and Savior."

I am annoyed not because I think that such confession is non-essential, but because I think that faith is about being and doing...about confession and action. This week I will be preaching from Galatians 2:11-21 and in that text, I am convicted of my intolerance toward my brothers and sisters who hold confession of faith as the primary essential.

The Apostle Paul says: "we know that a person is justified not by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ. " And what Paul is saying is that it is not strict adherence to the law that will make us justified before God, but believing in Jesus--salvation by grace through faith. Okay...so confession in Jesus is really important. But is the confession alone all that is needed. Can I say, "I believe in Jesus Christ" and go on with life as usual resting assured that I have been "saved?"

No. Paul goes on to say: "For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. " Belief in Christ...belief that is felt at the core of one's being...changes life. Paul not only confesses Christ with his lips, but he lives by faith in the Son of God.

So it is not enough for me to say that I love my church tradition because it professes to be tolerant, I better start living that way too--even when it means tolerating that which I find intolerant.

Journey on...

That Gross Tree in My Yard

We moved into our first home last fall. It was September and Autumn was setting in. When we first looked at the house, we noticed this huge tree leaning against the neighbor's garage and wanted to make sure it wasn't on our property line (as it looks like it's going to cave the neighbor's garage in anyday now).



We have loathed that tree. It dumped a TON of leaves in the fall which collected on top of and killed the grass. It has gone through various phases of blooming, raining white dust on the yard and our cars and then dropping these weird seed-looking things. It is by far the messiest, grossest tree I've seen.



But to my surprise, I looked up in the tree and noticed little red dots on the limbs. This was no ordinary, gross tree...it is a cherry tree. Who knew! It's right up there now in esteem with those weeds we were going to pull out back that are now growing strawberries.



Sometimes we look at things, and cannot see clearly what it is we are looking at. The Apostle Paul described this experience when he spoke about "seeing in a mirror dimly." Sometimes in church life, in our personal life of faith, we feel that way--like we don't see things clearly. But if we are patient and able to work through "the gross stuff" that comes our way, we may find that God has a pleasant surprise in store for us.


Journey on...

Simply Living

We all have titles that help identify who we are and what we are called to do. My titles include: mother, wife, Pastor, daughter, daughter-in-law,sister, sister-in-law, aunt, niece, cousin, friend and neighbor...(listed not in any particular order).

It is hard, with limited time and limited resources, to not feel as though I am letting the duties of one area of my life slide in order to spend more focused time in another area. Finding a balanced, simpler way of living can be terribly challenging.

Ecclesiastes 4:6 states: "Better is a handful with quiet than two handfuls with toil, and a chasing after the wind."

It is imperative for all of God's creatures (mothers, fathers, Pastors and people of all walks of life), to find the time for quiet. I believe that sometimes, it is the only time to take a deep breath and to hear the still, small voice of God speak to us.

So today I pray for you, a few moments of quiet to rest and remember that no matter the number of titles you carry, your number one title is "loved, child of God."

Journey on...

What about the Trinity?

Tomorrow is Trinity Sunday. It's no Christmas or Easter...so there won't be beautiful banners, flowers or cantatas from the choir. But it is an important Sunday on a topic that we rarely discuss in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).

Recently I found myself struggling to explain the Trinity to a group of high school students. Wikipedia has a very helpful entry on the Doctrine of the Trinity: "God is one being who exists, simultaneously and eternally, as a mutual indwelling of three persons--the Father, the Son (Jesus of Nazareth) and the Holy Spirit." One God...three persons.

That all sounds good, but how can 3=1 or 1=3? Mathematically it just doesn't add up. Mary Anderson's 1998 Christian Century article (available through paid subscription to ATLAS) entitled "So explain it to Me."

Anderson says: "I was watching my grandmother sleep during her afternoon nap. As I contemplated her existence, I thought wisely. 'That's Grandmama, Mamma, and Odell.' She smiled in her sleep as I called her by the names used for her by her grandchildren, her daughter, and her husband. Three names, three relationships -- and yet the same person. Amazing!"

Maybe this is the best way that we know how to put words to the experiences that we have of God...to use the language of situations that are familiar to us. The Doctrine of the Trinity is one way that church tried to put words to the experience of a God who was One and yet interacted with creation in three distinct ways.

So in the end, mathematically 3 still does not equal 1...but in faith, the One God works in (at least) 3 different ways in order to meet creation in ways that are powerful and life-changing.

Journey on...

Meandering on the Way

When beginning any journey, it is good to know the rules of the road--roadsigns (when understood and observed) help. This is not only true of driving on a road, but also traveling on the road of religious faith.

When you hear the word religion, and specifically the word Christianity, it may conjure up visions of big red stop signs--stop drinking, stop smoking, stop swearing, stop doing this or that, stop believing this or that, stop being who you really are. Or perhaps the word Christianity conjures up images of a cross walk sign--stay within the bounds of right belief and right practice, and God will protect you from getting hurt (and maybe even reward you with tangible goods and wealth as a bonus). Wander outside the set boundaries, and you might just get run over.

The words religion and Christianity have not always conjured up signs or images that are positive. There is justification for hesitancy in trusting organized religion when it has not always acted with the grace and integrity it professes to believe. But there is something at the heart of faith that is good and enduring in the midst of human nature that is not.

What is at the heart of the Christian faith is the love of God that embraces the forgotten, the persecuted, the lonely, the guilty and the shamed. It is this love that has the power to humble the self-righteous and draw in the most disenfranchised. God's love gives second chances and helps us to learn how to live in and appreciate the great diversity of the world.

If I were to suggest a sign for the journey of faith it would be the following: caution--winding road ahead. The journey of faith is just that, a journey filled with unforeseen twists and turns, ups and downs. We Meander through faith watching and waiting for the unexpected, hopeful love of God.

So journey on...meander a bit...and look for God in unexpected places.